Frank has been messing with my mind lately.

I found a can of beans the wrong way round this morning. I knew he went in the pantry last night. He likes to count the cordials to make sure I don't try to make more than the allotted amount. I am not permitted to have more than 5 jars. But he moved the can so the label was not aligned properly. I don't care if it is in the third row of the second shelf. It will align.

And yesterday, he moved his socks and underwear. He traded their drawers. He said it would be more efficient to be that way when he gets up in the morning to put his clothes on. I don't think it will be all that effecient when I put socks in his underwear drawer and vice versa. It'll be muddled. Then he won't know where either is. See how efficient that is, mister.

I don't know why he decided to do this. It's not like I have done anything to anger or irritate him. I have not gone anywhere so I haven't been brought home. No one has come to our door, so I haven't frightened anyone off. No one has called, not even a telemarketer. I even checked to make sure all of the phones were plugged and functioning properly without using 911. I called Time and Temperature instead,a nd that's a recording, so it doesn't bother anyone. I haven't even thrown anything at the old bint next door or posted any signs in the window. I still think a countdown to the average life expectancy is funny, but Frank said she was going to sue.

I'm going to fret about this more. Maybe it's time to reorganize the attic. I could check the Christmas lights again. I have never started a fire with them, no matter how much Frank thinks I might. This time, I think I'll hang them in the attic first. We've got more nails around here somewhere. No hammering while Frank is home though. Poor dear will worry too much, and then I'll really be in the basket.

But if he touches my cans again, I'll burn his eggs, I swear.  ¶ 2:41 PM