OT and OOC:

Jeannie may be taking a sebatical for a little. I have my mind caught up in other things.

I am an avid The Sims2 fan, where I have an alien breeding program going. But here's some humor lifted, that amused me. I didn't write it, but I likes it.

Clothes never need washing.
Food doesn't get put away after a meal. Rather, it just sits there until it stinks up the house.
It's okay to keep the carpool waiting for an hour while I eat a leisurely breakfast or play games on the computer.
Babies enjoy being immersed in steaming hot water.
If my neighbor hugs my wife or asks her to dance, I should immediately beat the shit out of him.
Dirty dishes should be stacked on the floor.
I can have this awesome stereo system, with a huge stack of blinking components, but all I ever seem to do is listen to the same five stations on the radio.
If I happen to notice my toddler is glowing bright green, that's okay.
All females dress like Britney Spears. Even grandmothers!
It's not odd that I know the local firefighter on a first-name basis, and see him more often than my parents.
The entire fire department in my town consists of one guy with a hand-held extinguisher.
I have never seen a garden hose, nor can I imagine what one would do that a watering can can't.
Watering cans are bottomless.
Pulling down my pants when using the bathroom is evidently a waste of time.
If I'm hungry, rather than go to the pantry and look for something to eat, it's wiser to cry and point at my mouth.
If I'm tired, rather than lie down on the bed that's three feet away, it's wiser to look up at the ceiling and wave my arms.
Books are meant to be read upside-down.
I can get into the back seat of a cab when I leave my house, but when I arrive at my destination I should be up front.
Babies can be left on the floor or the sidewalk.
If there's a molehill or a small slope in front of my hedge, I can't trim it.
I do not need a lawnmower, but should expect to spend my entire life weeding.
The only suitable places for sex are the bed, the hot tub and the public dressing room in the mall.
I should talk incessantly when I play chess.
You can spin a baby around like a basketball and it doesn't puke.
It's all right to, upon being invited into someone's home, turn on their big screen TV, eat their food, watch the game, and ignore them.
If I cook a meal, I should make enough for the whole neighborhood, since they're no doubt coming.
I must remember to call everyone I know once a week and remind them that I haven't seen them in a while.
If my kid asks me for help with homework, it's okay that I get distracted while walking into the next room and start dancing for an hour instead.
People vanish as soon as they leave my property.
There is no junk mail. Only bills.
Wiping is unncessary. So is flushing.
All headmasters are balding.
All maids look like blowup dolls.
Playing Myshuno with a pack of llamas is apparently not fun.
Teenaged girls can't get pregnant.
It's okay to keep my doors unlocked, because burglars always announce themselves with creepy music.  ¶ 5:01 PM