I hate rebates. I hate "discount cards." I hate special pricing if you carry that company's key tage. I hate coupons. Either the crap is on sale or it's not. Don't make me work for a sale price. When I go to a store and I want to buy a widget, I don't want to look at 6 different widgets with 6 different prices and have to do the math involved if Widget A is normally $40, Widget B is $50 but because there's a rebate for $20, I can buy it for $30 if I want to figure out how to send off for a rebate (which involves receipt, part of the package, some of the bag, and some sort of serial number on the widget itself plus all sorts of personal information up to and including the last time I got laid), but I can buy widget C for $15 if I'm a senior citizen belonging to AARP and AAA, or I can buy Widget D for $20 if I have the Store Discount Card (to apply for which of course I have to fork over another $30 and all of the above mentioned personal information), or I can get Widget E for $10 but only if it's Tuesday. At this point, I actually start to want to buy Widget F, because it's $60, and there's no math involved. I know I am being screwed at that price, but I don't have the suspicion any longer that I could have gotten a better deal. Of course then I have to wait in line behind somebody's grandparent who has to empty her suitcase so she can find her Store Discount Card, AAA card and AARP card, because apparently there's a super secret sale that only she knows about where you can buy Widget G for free. All you have to do is show all of those cards and poop in your pants while you argue with the manager about the price break. And I have to wait. Because there's somebody behind me, with several small children and one is crying, one is trying to pull Widget E from my basket or pick my pocket (alternatively), and one is running up and down and up and down and I wish I was in a hardware store so I could nail the little fucker to the floor.

I love shopping. Does it show?  ¶ 8:25 PM