Do you know how hard it is to find plain rubber ducks? Just the classic ordinary squeaky duck? I've tried looking- I'd like to offer one to a friend as a gag gift with my own modification to it, and that precludes getting any one of thousands of "Devil Duckies" or "celebrity duckies" or even the vibrating duckies with the ball gag from Big Teaze Toys. (Oh how I'd love to offer one of those to my mother for her bath time, which we've always referred to as playing with her rubber duck- but I don't think she'd ever take it out of the package.) I didn't provide a link to that, because you should not search for it at work. You can have your whole bathroom decorated ala Rubber Ducky with the bath mats, decorated towels, shower curtains, soap holders and dispensers, toothbrush holders, and even ducky printed toilet paper or tissues. But the plain regular rubber duckie? He's a wee bit harder to find.

Found him on Amazon though. They seem to have everything, including the vibrating duck.  ¶ 9:49 AM

  The problem with the "Burger King is no longer carrying the whopper" advertising campaign is that people will start to believe that Burger King no longer carries the Whopper, and therefore why the hell should anyone shop there? If that advertising campaign carries on too long, they may as well close up shop now.

But then, they've spent so much advertising their non-burger offerings, who goes to BK for a burger anyway?

But then, I don't go to BK much if at all anyway. Their main positive is their onion rings.  ¶ 7:57 AM

  I survived the holiday! Hooray!

Only of course, the only reason why he came with me, necessitating the bringing of the two dogs and diabetic cat on the Road Trip From Hell, was to see his mother in her home and spend some quality time with her. Unfortunately, he never checked in with any other family member but his mom to see if she'd be home. So we called Sunday for directions, only to get the answering machine. Finally, we called his sister. She confirmed that yes, his mom wasn't home- she was (as usual) visiting his brother in Connecticut. When she had told Jazz as recently as Friday that his brother would be in Africa and therefore she had no where to go, and our visit would be wonderful.

On the plus side, now we know where both of our mothers live. And because we didn't leave the house to see his mom, we didn't have to go visit his dad in the cemetary. I'm rather happy about that, but he may feel differently. My folks were very happy to have us. I worked on knitting a Flying Spaghetti Monster when I wasn't keeping Kenya Dog from biting the obligatory small child. I will say this much about Arianna- she doesn't seem to have the developmental troubles of her bothers. Good, because she'll need all the help she can get.

I did offer to Suzi a haven to get the fuck out of my sister's house. But I admit, if Suzi stays with Mikey, it'll preserve her marriage a lot longer. They're already having long term arguments.

Oh, and the best gift I got this year was Hope. Thank you One True Tami and Tata!  ¶ 8:57 AM

  Georg's Rum Balls

Take a bottle of rum. Have a swing.

Take a box of nilla wafers. Run them through the food processor or blender until nothing but crumbs. For the ultimate stress relief though, wrap in a tea towel and thwap the hell out of them with a rolling pin. Or you can con small child to do that. :)

Dump crumbs in a bowl. Add 1/4 cup or so of cocoa powder. Stir. Add about 1/3 cup corn syrup. Then add a generous amount of the rum. I like using the 151. Have another swig. If you like chopped nuts (and I do recommend grinding these in front of a male who has pissed you off), add them now. Stir well until everything clumps well together. Have another swig. You’ve earned it.

Now shape into about 1-inch balls. Roll in confectioner sugar. Store in an airtight container and don’t give to small children unless you want them to sleep well. I like slipping a couple to my little nephews. Take the rest of the rum and enjoy.  ¶ 1:12 PM

  Let's see- the shoping is done (except last minute groceries). I still have some sewing to do, but that is of no matter. I can wrap the parts instead of finishing my mom's gift.

Now I just need a lot of tranquilizers so I can handle the holidays.

My pregnant sister and her new creepy husband will be there. I will manage to remain polite. Suzi will be there (hooray!) but I can't kidnap her and give her a proper job and get her out of that house. I fear it will dampen Suzi's future, but will save my sister's second marriage.

My poor beloved will have anxiety issues. We're going to visit his mother in her "home", which is bad enough. And then probably stop by and visit his dad in the cemetary too. Plus his natural angst when coping with my parents.

Then there's the basset. He will be the comedy relief, because we'll need that. He will want couch and not get it. Kenya will be along with her special needs. I hope she doesn't pee anywhere- I'll never hear the end of it. And Sassy, with her insulin. I'm not even sure how we're all going in the truck. But I bet we'll be stopping a lot on the road, between pee breaks and smoke breaks.

Oh yes, tranquilizers would be lovely. Of course, I'll probably be PMSing the entire time too- I'm too stressed to have the thing now while it's convenient. And sleep will become optional until a week from today.

Oh I'll have a Merry Kissmoose, never you fear- because I hope to be getting my butt home Kissmoose Day and sleep in my own damn bed. And the rest of the year will be Merry and Bright.

May your holidays be better than mine.  ¶ 12:52 PM

  Kenya Dog had a mini-check up today (urinalysis for the curious, and yes it's kind of interesting to run after a dog with a pan lid to try and catch, but I didn't even have to bring in the dog.)

The check up was all good news- the piroxicam is working wonderfully well and the UTI has cleared up, and the evidence of cancer is reduced. The vet didn't want to get our hopes up and say a miracle happened or anything- but it's a better, longer prognosis.

We've even be told we can cut out her arthritis pain pills if we wanted to, because the piroxicam should be enough of a pain reliever. She can stop the antibiotics soon, which is good, because those taste terrible, and she's getting tricky about not wanting to eat them, and as a result any pills.

She is sleeping better, which is nice for all of us. And BOO to my supervisor who suggested that having a dog that gets me up at all hours of the night is "good practice for when I have a kid of my own."  ¶ 6:55 PM

  Meme's Camp Recipe Book
(found in the back of the dry sink of the Hodgsen cabin, about 4 years after her passing- typed verbatim - and apparently there aren't cooking times or temperatures)

Recipes for Camp - Dot. Hawks

Cookies- molasses
1 c Brown Sugar
1 " molasses
1 " lard
Pour over this 1 c. Boiling Water.
Add (1) egg beaten.
2 teas soda
2 " ginger
2 " cinamon
1/2 " clove
1/2 c raisins
3 c. flour.

Pie crust

2 1/4 c. sifted Flour.
1 teasp Salt
2/4 C. Spry.

5 tablsp Water.

Sift flour - salt together. Add 1/2 Spry - Cut until fine - Add rest.
leave Large-

Apple pie.

6 tart - apples.
1 c sugar - 1/2 Brown, 1/2 w. sugar
1/8 teasp. All spice--
1/4" cinnamon
1/4 " nutmeg.
1/2 " Salt-
1 " Lemonjuice.
1 tab - Butter --

Mystery Chef. Doughnuts -

2 eggs-
1/2 cup sugar -
1/2 [2 is crossed out and 4 written in pencil next] cup. milk
1/2 tblsp. Cooled melted butter.
1 1/4 cups. sifted flou.
2 teasp. Baking Powder.
1/4 " salt
1/2 " Nutmeg.
Beat eggs - add sugar - & melted butter - add milk - Mix & sift the dry ingredients - & add to egg - (makes soft dough.
[Roce?] 1/4 in thick - cut. Fry in deep fat 380º F - (Bread browns in 60 seconds
When doughnutts come to top - turn- Remove & drain-

Cream Puffs
Profiterolls

1/4 c Margarine- (Spry)
1/2 c hot water
1/2 c All purpose Flour
2 unbeaten eggs

Heat butter - water in sauce pan. When butter is melted, add flour all at once - stirring vigorously - until ball forms- in center of pan. Remove from fire - add eggs - one at a tome. beat after each addition- Mixture should be stiff - Drop by teaspoonful on sheet. bake 375 - 30 minutes. Fill with vanilla.

Muffins
Gourmet One egg

2 c Flou
2 teasp. B. powder
1/4 " Salt.
4 tablespoon Shortening
1 c sugar
1 EGG - unbeaten-
3/4 c milk [ink says 1/4, pencil marks out the 1 and makes a really large 3]
1 teasp. Vanilla-

Sift flour + B. P. + salt. 3 times- Cream butter. Add sugar - add egg- Beat. Add flour alt with milk.

Bake 350 - 50 min.

Panic

1 can pie mix in bottom of pie pan
sprinkle 1 small cake mix on top.
& drizzle 1/3 c milted butter on top -
bake - 350º - 30-45 min-
serve ice-cream or whipped cream.


Oatmeal cookies

3/4 Short (sof)
1 c - brown Sugar
1/2 c grace "
1 egg
1/4 c water -
1 tsp vanilla
1 c flour-
1 tsp salt -
1/2 tsp soda -
3 c oats or less /

(350) 12-15 mins  ¶ 12:50 PM

  Up until this week, Kenya has been a joy to pill. She's been on pain killers and glucosamine for her osteoarthritis/hip displasia for *years*. After dinner, she gets them wrapped in cream cheese, and has been very happy to eat them.

Until this week. Last week she was started on antibiotics. The pill is slightly larger than her glucosamine capsule, and she must have bit it or something. And now, the jig is up. She won't eat cream cheese *at all* any more.

She is still, however, a dog, and therefore a food motivated individual. I have sprung for Merrick canned dog food, which is *awesome* in the dog universe. The small pills can be slipped into the chunks, and the powders from the capsules can be mixed with the gravy, and she will happily eat any flavor possible. So, now she's living on two cans of this stuff a day. I've never been so happy to spend $1.69/can of food in my life. Let's hope she keeps this up.  ¶ 4:03 PM

  A blog I regularly read is holding a contest for Random Acts of Kindness.

This makes my brain hurt. The whole point of a Random Act of Kindness is that it is Random, and a Kindness. It's a selfless act. So bragging about a RAK is just plain against the whole point of being selfless. Do what you can to be kind to one another, but I don't think anyone should be inspired to do RAKs just for the possiblity of winning prizes.

Do Random Acts of Kindness just because they bring you joy. No other reason is really ever needed.  ¶ 1:30 PM

  Yesterday Kenya went for an ultrasound to further diagnose her problems.

It's not good. Not good at all.

Dr. Labreque showed me the ultrasound. There's a huge mass in her bladder, but it also extends along much of the bladder wall, and invades the tissue around the urethra, for much of its length. If it was just a mass in her bladder, it would be operable, but she can't live without the urethra- at least not without doggie diapers and a severe decline in her quality of life, and we have zero interest in any decline in her quality of life. And yes, when you start talking quality of life issues, there's a serious limit to it left. The prognosis is three to four months. We could go to Cornell and have an oncologist tell us this too, and offer the possibility of chemotherapy or radiation therapy, but the journals say this would extend her life maybe another month or two, but would not be worth while in terms of the poking and prodding and discomfort.

She lost another pound and a half during the last week. But the good news is that she likes the Merrick dog food and the Evo (rabbit went over well, as suspected). She's stopped eating her pills in cream cheese, so we have to wrap the cream cheese in lunch meat. She hates the antibiotics most. But she's also on piroxicam, tramadol, and glucosamine, and in the middle of an Adequan series.

So. Not happy.  ¶ 9:40 AM

  Sometimes it's fun to go to the pet store and pick out one of every can they have. My wallet doesn't like it, but it still felt good.

Merrick does have a lot of tasty sounding foods like Turducken and Grammy's Pot Pie, Smothered comfort, and Cowboy Cookout. And I got some of the Innova EVO- 95% Rabbit ought to tempt her palate a bit. Especially after the Bunny incident this summer.

Or at least I hope so. If that doesn't work, I'll cook enough dinner for three and put down a plate for her too.  ¶ 12:27 PM

  It is inevitable when you have old dogs that they will have health issues. Just as inevitable that your own bones will begin to protest things you used to do without thinking, and injuries you could ignore before can last and last now. Kenya has been having peeing issues of late. It's been hard to afford to get her in to see the vet, but there's just some things you gotta do. Tentative first diagnosis was a UTI, because that's where you start. I was thrilled to get a urine sample- I never have been adept at convincing a pet to give me one before. I recommend anyone trying also use a pan lid. Leash the dog, and as soon as she squats, shove a pan lid under there. Hopefully the lip on the lid will keep the wee in the container until you get back in the house. And hopefully, she won't try to poo on the pan lid. It's a very similar pose after all. But last night's 3 AM potty run had her impatiently wee on the kitchen floor, and there was definite red in it. The joy of the kitchen floor instead of her preferred carpet is that it's so much easier to clean. So I was happy and really depressed at the same time. We called the vet again this afternoon. She goes for an ultrasound and blood work on Wednesday morning. I am thinking it may be kidney stones or something like that. She still has good quality of life, but peeing apparently hurts. This week, she's started objecting to food. Tomorrow, I'm going to the Good Pet Store to buy some spiff food, and I hope she will be tempted to eat it. And we're going to have to hide her pills in something besides cream cheese now- she won't eat the cream cheese unless we wrap it in lunch meat. (Which I'm happy to keep doing!)

Why is it our pets feel their mortality more in the winter? I don't want to bury Kenya if we have to make that fatal choice. I think I'm going to opt for the cremation if we have to. I can keep her on my desk. It's easier than the back yard- because eventually, we'll have a rather full yard if we keep that up. Even the Basset is no spring chicken, and he'd take up a lot of real estate. Our yard is too tiny.

I'm good at worrying. I wish I was this good at sleeping.  ¶ 11:20 PM

  Finally started a sock out of the Socks That Rock, (left over from the first Beanis), and I gotta say, I do like this yarn. It's a very comfortable texture on the hands. I think I may have too many stitches on the needle (32) and it will fit better with 30, but it's such a small difference and I have most of the foot part done, I don't want to frog and redo.

I've had a few people ask about knit or crochetted cat toys. I may have to try that too. As it is, it's time to make the huge collection of cat toys and mail them off.  ¶ 10:18 AM