I sing corrected. TODAY is Talk like a Pirate Day. (I'm usually very wrong about the day anyway...) But here's a song for ye lads and lasses:
Most days are like all of the others,
Go to work, come back home, watch TV,
But, brother, if I had me druthers,
I’d chuck it and head out to sea,
For I dream of the skull and the crossbones,
I dream of the great day to come,
When I dump the mundane for the Old Spanish Main
And trade me computer for rum! ARRR!
T' me,
Yo, Ho, Yo, Ho,
It's "Talk Like A Pirate" Day!
When laptops are benches God gave us fer wenches,
And a sail ain't a low price ta pay!
When timbers are shivered and lillies are livered
And every last buckle is swashed,
We'll abandon our cars for a shipfull of ARRRs
And pound back the grog till we're sloshed! Yo ho....
Don’t pick up yer phone and say “Hello,
Our ten-o-clock meeting’s delayed”,
Ye scrunch up yer face and ye bellow,
“AVAST! Ye’ve been bleedin’ BELAYED!”
Ye can’t keep this fun to yerself, I bet,
So sing “Aye!” “ARRR!” “Ayy!” every man!
We ain’t got much grasp of the alphabet,
But a damn good retirement plan!
T' me,
Yo, Ho, Yo, Ho,
It's "Talk Like A Pirate" Day!
Whatever's in fashion is in for a thrashin'
And bein' polite is passe!
When it's ev'ry man's duty to grab his proud beauty
And let out a hearty YO HO!
And if this offends you, hold y'r breath as we sends you
Ta Davy Jones' Locker ya go! Yo ho....
We'll tell every banker "Heave to and weigh anchor!"
Buy latte with pieces of eight
We'll fight to be chosen as cap'n or bosun
The loser, o' course, is worst mate!
When we hoist Jolly Roger, the landlubbers dodge 'er,
We fill 'em with loathing and fear,
We'll plunder and pillage each city and village,
Or at least clean out Wal-Mart of beer!
There ain't no computin' or morning commutin',
No "Parking Lot Full" signs for me,
No lawns ta be mowin' or bills to be owin',
I'm knowin' the pull of the sea.
The fresh salty brace of the wind on my face
Through hurricane, sunshine or squalls,
I'm keepin' my eyes on the distant horizon,
Verizon can hold all my calls!
To wear a red coat full o’ buckles,
To earn a few duelling scars,
Well, at least we can get a few chuckles
By filling the office with ARRRs!
And maybe we’ll never get closer,
Than watchin’ ‘em on the big screen,
So here’s to old Errol and Depp as Jack Sparrow,
And every damn one in between!
T' me,
Yo, Ho, Yo, Ho,
It's "Talk Like A Pirate" Day!
That time in September when sea dogs remember
That grown-ups still know how ta play!
When wenches are curvy and dogs are all scurvy
And a soft-wear patch covers your eye,
Ta hell with our jobs, for one day we're all swabs
And buccaneers all till we die!
So hoist up the mainsils and shut down your brain cells,
They only would get in the way,
Avast there, me hearty, we're havin' a party,
It's "Talk... Like... A Pirate" Day!
Tom Smith
It's 9/11. That means it's time to trot out the memorabilia and memories ad nauseum and fear for repeat attacks to mark the anniversary. This is usually abhorrent to me. I don't watch it on the TV and I try to play ostrich and pretend it didn't happen.
But it did.
Jazz had to write
an article about his memories. So I was companionably forced to recall what I could. I was woken by the phone and told to turn on the TV. I did so, just in time to watch the second plane fly into the second tower. Confusion ensued as I told Jazz about it- he still only knew of the one plane. I got dressed and went downstairs. I saw the first tower fall, then the second. I thought of everyone I knew in that area. I thought of what I would have done if I were trapped in the building- would I have run upstairs or down? Would I have left my purse? What of the person in a wheelchair? What if it had been a bad day for my gastrointestinal system and I was stuck in the john pooping? I admit to odd obsessions.
I stayed curled in a blanket most of the day, near the computer for IMs and near the phone. I didn't call anyone- because I knew jamming the phones would make things worse. I remembered thinking there must be cell phone repeaters on top of the towers as well as radio antennae. Who did I know in NYC? My best friend teaches kindergarten in Staten Island. But that's far enough to where she ought to be safe.
Then the plane hit the Pentagon.
When did Mom say Da was last in Washington? Fuck. He might be there. I did call home for that- they don't live near The City either. Mom reassured me- he had been the week before, but he was home now. He later sent me email where he told me he had walked that hall and attended meetings in that sector.
CNN kept covering Washington- the Capitol Building was evacuated, and various bigwigs stood around with their hands in their pockets, just talking. Their body language suggested they were ready for some brandy and a cigar. A reporter approached. They immediately said they felt sympathy for all the lives lost and hoped nothing else bad would happen- but they said it dismissively, like well-oiled cogs. I never wanted to hit someone so hard in my life. They weren't empathetic at all. It wasn't their lives in danger. They had not had a building fall on them. They were already pondering the spin and how to work this tragedy to their favor, to their will.
By the end of the day, we heard from my brother-in-law who had been staying at the Marriott the day before and checked out 15 minutes before the planes hit. We heard from my nephew last- he called his grandmother desperate for car assistance and pissed that he could not get a hold of anything. He had been on a trip with his fiance and didn't even know the Towers had been hit. His apartment was less than a mile away from the Towers.
We didn't hear the story of the PA flight for a while. I can't imagine their bravery. Or having a message on my answering machine from my beloved like so many received.
But the chilling tale for me from that day comes from my teaching friend. She told of an announcement over the loudspeaker of the first plane, then the second, and of the towers falling. The school was silent. A good percentage of the children had parents working in Manhattan. Some even worked in the Towers. As the day went by, parents arrived, hugged their children firmly, and took them home. And the children grew paler and paler with worry, the longer the day went on. There were no kids left in her class by the end of the day. Only a couple of students lost a parent, but everyone in that school knew somebody who died. A few weeks later, the first plane flew overhead in NYC again, and it was an odd sound. Some of the children dove under the desk. My friend stiffened nervously, waiting for the distant boom. It took months before she could ignore a flying plane again.
On 9/12, I was driving on an errand. There was a long line of cars in front of me, all with little US flags on them. I felt I was in a funeral. There were flags everywhere.
The first speech the president gave afterwards was raving but moving. Had he asked us, we would have individually gone through the caves of Afghanistan personally to find Osama. But no, he was blaming Sadam Hussein and Iraq, and it felt irrational to me. The country slowly woke up from blind grief and patriotic fervor, but that took months, and perhaps years. We hung a flag for more than a year, but now I'm just sad when I look at it, furled by the door.
I still freeze a little when I hear a low flying plane. I wait for the boom.
I’m just concerned about Sarah Palin's decision making abilities.
1. Did she really abuse power with “Troopergate” to get the brother-in-law fired when she could not go after him legally before she became governor?
2. Is there a coverup concerning the daughter? While I don’t mind that she has decided to adopt her daughter’s special needs child (if it’s true) I object to the cover up. I question her judgment about the speech + flight+ car ride while possibly in labor without seeking medical attention other than a phone call. It just seems fishy to me. Plus there’s a comment a month later about her one and only son being in the military and being shipped off to Iraq. 5th kid ought to come much faster - but that’s a usual rule of thumb and not always. My baby brother (the third kid) took twice as long, but that’s because he wanted to be born ass first. It proves he’s always been a butthead. My aunt’s third kid though took two hours. Tops.
3. I’m concerned about her say-anything - She campaigned for governor in favor of the bridge to nowhere- and now is saying that she has always objected to it.
4. And of course, I’m seriously concerned about her lack of experience when this is a charge consistently given against Obama.
I don’t like her and she frightens me.
Oh and the 17-year-old is now 5 months pregnant. If she really is 5 months along, then the whole 5th baby maybe being hers is dubious, because it's hard to give birth while you're conceiving. (Although you can get pregnant immediately after giving birth or at least that month). So much for teaching your children abstinence only. I firmly believe this sort of thing happens when you teach abstinence only- because that just doesn't work. Young adults will experiment and they will end up doing the wrong thing sometimes.