Dear Plaxico Burress:

You are an idiot.

You have failed at your job. You have disappointed fans everywhere. You fail as a role model. I'm sorry you're going to jail, but really- you deserve everything the NFL is going to do to you.

Your job as a professional football player is to *play* football at the professional level. During the season, you really should eat, sleep, and breathe football, focus on staying in top shape, and keeping yourself healthy. This does not mean going out to clubs until all hours every night. This does not mean skipping team meetings and showing up late.

The NFL has been happy to help you with security detail. They are more than happy to give you references to hire some men to guard your ass while in public. There is no reason to carry a gun yourself, particularly when you have no license to carry a gun, or for that matter *own a gun*. If you did have the proper licenses, one of the requirements is lessons on how to use and maintain said firearms. Now, I'm libertarian enough to where I think everyone ought to know how to shoot and maintain a gun, and I firmly believe if you own a gun, you should practice with it regularly. I have heard of several places in NYC where you can legally shoot all kinds of guns. Clearly if you had any safe gun handling lessons, you would have been able to carry your gun in a sensible manner, and if you had the proper licenses, you could have done so legally. But all of this was lost on you, because you thought you were above the law because you were rich.

You aren't rich. The people who sign your paycheck are rich. You are just a lucky bastard with a talent for playing football. And now that you have a hole in your thigh, you can't play football. What good are you now?

I hope you will learn something from all this. Unfortunately, I think you'll be crying about that chip on your shoulder about how all this happened because you were black and unable to get endorsement deals. No. It happened because you, Plaxico, are a frigging idiot.  ¶ 5:29 PM