Dear Dr. Marion Thorpe, Jr.:
No, I'm not the conservative republican you think I am with your mailing list.
You're the first person to send me something begging money for a conservative cause though - and frankly, I'm rather disgusted. I feel dirty for somehow getting on that list, because I am neither conservative or Republican. I've been a registered Democrat for the past 22 years, and I'm damn proud of it. Although, honesty compels me to admit Democrats ain't all rainbows and unicorns- their shit stinks just as much as the Republican shit.
When I got your letter, I was angered for more than the apparently common mistake that I am conservative - your letter proclaimed you were a black Republican running for U.S. Senate, and that you were from Florida. I had flashbacks of Hillary Clinton all over again. You see, we have a senate election cycle *currently under way* in my state of New York, and I assumed you were being a total asshole carpetbagger moving from Florida to take on the current contenders that I know about - Misters Tedisco and Murphy. I can't stand a carpetbagger - I want my governmental representatives to be from the state of New York so they have more idea of what our problems are, and not focused on using their career as a stepping stone for greater things, and yes, Hillary, I will never forgive you for entering my state with your goals. Dr. Thorpe, I thought you were coming to my state. Your letter doesn't make it clear for which state's seat you are running for Congress, and you let me assume it was New York. I feel this is very disingenuous and not perfectly ethical. If I didn't have the brains to figure this out when I looked your name up on the web, I probably would have fallen for it. I find this despicable.
Worse, your letter seems to be a bid to vote for you and donate to your campaign just because you're black. If I didn't want to vote for Hillary just because she has ovaries, I certainly am not going to donate to your campaign just because your skin is slightly heavier in the pigment department. I don't care. That's NOT why I feel moved to vote for candidates. I want to know where you stand on the issues. I'm sure there are other candidates in the primary with whom you will have to contend, and these issues will need to be addressed.
I now believe I will keep an eye on your campaign in the future, and possibly I may be moved to mobilize in favor of your opponents. You've certainly done the absolute opposite of impressing me.