Learning Grace

I am and have been a very in-your-face and abrasive person. I prefer brutal honesty to little white lies. If I like you, I'll say so. If you ask for my opinion, I'll give it to you. I wear rude T-shirts.

But the people I admire have manners. I have some, but the sarcasm gets in the way. People I admire can always find something nice to say, or at least deftly change the subject. People I admire know it's Not All About Me.

I am trying. Quietly, because this isn't something one ought to talk about. It's too easy to throw in my face with "I thought you were trying to be nicer!" when I utter something truly cruel. This is just a project to try and keep trying, because no one achieves grace fully, not in this life without impending sainthood, and I am not trying for that.

Grace is more respecting other people's boundaries. Don't touch someone unless they invite it. Don't help the one person who doesn't want to be helped. Help the person who wants to be helped, if I can. Offer of yourself, and take No for an answer without being offended. Accept that I do not know everything, because nobody does. Accept being wrong as a positive learning experience. Be willing to say No when I know I cannot Do.

This does not ever mean I should roll over and let someone kick me. I must still stand for myself and defend those who need defending. I am a strong woman, and this is important to embrace my strength. But there are ways, and there are ways. I can lose my temper and swing at someone, or I can come with a clever comeback, or if the windmill is too large, I can smile and walk away. But I have to let go of the anger if I'm not going to fight.

I am finally learning patience, which is something I never thought I would.  ¶ 12:46 PM