The problem with turning 39 for the first time is no one believes you when you say it's for the first and only time. No, there's the nudge of the elbow and the wink, and the "yeah right, how many times have you been 39?" I realize I probably still don't look like I'm 39, I've always looked younger than my age, and that will probably change in the next 20 years, as I slowly evolve into that "indeterminate age" that could be anything from 40 to 60. I've already got the grey hair like blending filament. It's curlier than my brown hair, and slowly increasing. I can't run for the dye pot, because I haven't found anything I can use (including henna). If I had not been allergic to dye, I'd probably still be a redhead, and I would not find the grey at all. Personally, I don't mind the grey. It's kind of pretty. And unusual in our "Thou Shalt Stay Young Forever" mentality these days. Judging by where it grows, in about 5 years I'll have a skunk spot at the top of my scalp where I part my hair. Or as I like to call it, a wizard lock. Jazz had one when I met him, and I always loved it. Of course, in the 12 years we've been together, the rest of the grey has caught up with his hair, and very little isn't seriously silver, more salt than pepper, but enough of the original black to be very distinguished and handsome. The sagging under my chin I can do without, but my eyes stay the same.

The other interesting thing about being 39- this is the age my mom became Nana. I'm glad I'm not a grandmother - at least not the same way (*) but it's time to look at the things I'm not likely to do, like most midlife crisis folks can do the closer they get to 40. I'm not having kids of my own. I'm not going to climb Everest. I'm probably not going to have that Rock N' Roll career either. But ya know, I'm comfortable with that too. But I can still get that tattoo I want... ;)

(*) Jazz has a daughter, Tiana Danielle Shaw, and if you're out there, lady, we'd love to see you again, and you are welcome in our house. I'd love to meet you. She's 20-something, so it's a damn shame I never met her. But if she shows up on our doorstep and I go straight to grandkids, I'd be tickled.  ¶ 10:58 AM