Dear Mrs. Sanford:

I realize this is probably going to be a very rough time for you, and I'm sympathetic in that regard. I am writing to you to thank you for having a spine. Thank you for not doing the walk of shame at the press conference to tell the world that while yes your husband has been naughty, you will still stand by your man because he's in politics. Thank you for saying fuck that shit and slapping his ass with a legal separation. You go girl. Show your boys that it's not okay to cheat so they can be real men when they grow up and not dicks.  ¶ 2:44 PM

  Dear Vein and Laser Center of Central New York:

Your radio commercials creep me out.

No college-age daughter would brag to her parents that she's had all of her hair lasered off on her legs, under arms and bikini line. Not unless she wants her mother to think she's working the pole when she's not at school - because there's no other realistic way for a young adult to pay for the procedures when the bank of mom and dad are coughing up for school. Granted, she could have found some sort of sugar-daddy arrangement who has decided to fork over the dough, but we could debate if being an expensive whore is better than dancing on the pole.

I also don't care how much of a sasquatch dear old dad is - I don't think he's going to want mom to schedule his appointment either.

As for your actual target demographic - oh yes, I can see where getting rid of my chin hairs permanently might have an attraction, but I don't really want them mentioned in the same conversation as my daughter's bikini line.  ¶ 7:12 PM

  Knit furmiliation is fun. This is not our dog or my knitting, but I had to share it anyway.

Max says, "How you doing?"

  ¶ 5:24 AM

  Have you heard of the National Marrow Donor Program? This is a database almost anyone can join and you might be able to save a life.

Right now, June 8 - 22, registration is free and the usual $50 fee for a test kit is waived. So now, you don't have an excuse not to sign up.  ¶ 4:25 PM

  Sometimes it's nice to do a selfish thing to help someone out.

Piddleloop, a Ravelry friend, is selling knitting bags and accessories this week for the benefit of another Ravelry friend - we all have bassets in common. Our mutual friend, Amymacbeth, lost Hannah yesterday, after emergency splenectomy to try remove a cancerous mass. But now she's stuck with more than $3k of vet bills, and she doesn't have the cash. She's selling pottery on eBay, but I can't find a link to that.

Here's a pic of Hannah:



She loved cottage cheese and stealing Kleenex.  ¶ 12:29 PM

  Politically commentary for the week:

  ¶ 4:32 PM

  Because some lols are too perfect not to share.

  ¶ 5:40 AM

  More spinning:

This:
(which is black-faced liecester dyed in Deep Blue Sea colors by Gale's Art)

Has been turned into this:


It's navajo plied and unfortunately very over twisted. I tried for a more uniform ply, but I am still pretty new at this sort of thing. I may have plied in the wrong direction too. It's very springy, even after drying with a weight hanging from it. 243 yards, 4 oz. That puts it close to Aran/DK weight, and yes, I have no idea what to do with it. I had lots of offers for it at the event Saturday - or more correctly, I had people tell me I could sell it as an "art yarn" for big bucks, but no one actually offered me any money. I think it's lovely.

Next on the wheel is an abby sock batt. Yum.  ¶ 12:19 PM

  Starbucks is apparently stopping making their coffee liqueur. I'm fine with that, but I have friends who will cry. Here's a recipe if you're someone who may miss it.

How to make your own:

Either start with Starbucks coffee - go get a tall- or get a regular coffee anywhere else.

If you start with a regular coffee from anywhere, take 12 oz of coffee and put in a sauce pan. Boil it until you have about 8 oz. This should give you the burned flavor of Starbucks coffee. Add about 1/4 cup of sugar or three tablespoons, more or less according to your taste. Stir until dissolved. Then allow it to cool. Add about 4 to 6 oz of cheap vodka. Put in a bottle you can seal well. Let it sit more than 24 hours. Shake before serving. Enjoy.

If you start with actual Starbucks coffee, you can skip the boiling it down part of the directions. To me, Starbucks coffee tastes like it’s been left on the burner an hour or three more than it’s supposed to.  ¶ 10:10 PM

  Stuff I've been working on...

Not Bacon socks for Abby F.F.


This is two straps on the inkle loom - the red is for Nufflebutt (she says she wants to use it for her spinning wheel) and the yellow will be for my SCA protégé. The toe is yet another toe for Gwynivar. The purple grey sock and a half are another pair for Abby, out of her homespun. The grey stripes is one sock in Opal's Harry Potter line, Hedwig colorway (and no, Jazz, I'm not buying one of every color they have in that line just because it's Harry Potter, I promise. I only got the two pretty ones, Hedwig and Draco).

And helping with the prototype cupholder for the Minstrel.

I'm hoping for another paid knitting gig soon, but that makes for crappy blog fodder, because I can't post those pictures or talk about them until they get published. Meanwhile though, I have to finish some second socks and work on the Unending Black Socks. I have bartered two pairs of socks from a friend whose husband has horribly large feet. He wants a pair of Black and a pair of White knee highs, and his 20 inch calves don't fit in commercial socks. In exchange, she has an awful lot of fussy embroidery to do. So far, we think it's a good deal, but I only have one toe done. There's no pic of that because it's black and won't photograph well at all. Next on the inkle loom is Bacon. Then I need another yellow belt (for a total of three) and a new purse strap. I might even do a guitar strap for Abby, out of her handspun. Maybe. Time will tell. I wonder if I can con Da into making me a darning egg so I can repair some socks?  ¶ 8:37 AM

  Celebrity death attributed to Swine Flu

HOLLYWOOD, CA - Last night, Kermit the Frog's body was found in a swamp in his backyard. Thorough forensic evaluation has led investigators to the conclusion that Mr. Frog was a victim of Swine Flu. Investigators are uncertain if he would have survived with medical intervention.



Consideration is being made for declaring it a criminal case; Mr. Frog's motivations are not clear as to why he chose to avoid seeing medical help. Inquiries as to the wherabouts and medical condition of Mr. Frog's wife are being made by the police and Interpol.

Mr. Frog is also survived by his nephew, Robin the Frog.  ¶ 3:11 PM

  This is why I want to get Jazz a PS3 - so I can "selflessly" move the PS2 into the office for my own use. Not only could I boot up some of my exercise DVDs, I could get out the old Dance Pad.

  ¶ 3:12 AM

  This is for Tata.

Please go watch this anti-Miss Fake Tits Not The Winner of Miss California song. It's very catchy.  ¶ 11:42 AM

  I've been Weaving.

This is an Inkle loom.

This is For Georg woven.

The wool sock yarn feels very different from the #10 cotton. It's stickier and that means I can weave with less tension. Edges are easier to keep neat. Sheds however are harder to open.

Pepe is confused. He knows it's String, but isn't sure what to do with it.  ¶ 4:31 PM

  All of this bull crap about the swine flu "hearkening back" to the 1918 flu is driving me nuts. Let me tell you a few things about 1918 that ought to make you feel a wee bit better.

My Grandpa Burt signed up as a young man to be a 101-day Doughboy for the Great War. The idea was to sign up for 101 days, and then you'd be out, because with that push the War would be over, or so they advertised. It was just as America was entering, and they believed that with one great push from America, the War would be over, and we would win. They called it the Great War, because they believed it could never happen again. But then the one shipload of American soldiers came down with the flu and were sent home to recover, spreading the disease throughout the country. My grandfather was on that boat. He was sent home to Ilion, NY. Then it was determined that he should go to a sanitarium to improve his health, as Ilion was the home of Remington Arms, and the factory smoke could not be good for his lungs. Either that or the town had a quarantine - I'm not sure. It was vital to the War Effort the factory stay open - so the flu would not be welcome in town. The sanitarium was in the Adirondacks, and was founded to help tuberculosis patients. Burt soon recovered from the flu, only to catch TB. He was there for months. They didn't have sanitation or medication to fight the 1918 flu. Or tuberculosis. They used a lot of the same instruments without sterilization between patients. If one patient had a disease in the sanitarium, they all got it, so getting better was rare. Burt did. He then went on with the GI bill to Hamilton College and got a job as a principal in the Utica school system.

Today, even if you were sent some place special to recuperate, they would do their damndest to make sure there was no cross-contamination. It's true that washing you hands often will help keep you healthier. Common sense hygiene currently can help save lives. And our medicines are a huge improvement- we have a cure for tuberculosis now, and in my grandfather's day it was often a death sentence. I'm not worried about this flu. I believe the panic will cause more harm than the disease will. And why yes, I do have a compromised immune system and therefore am considered a high-risk.

I'm not worried. Neither should you.  ¶ 2:50 PM

  On Sunday, I learned to shave poor Max. Doesn't he look more comfortable?


We realized how much this is true:
  ¶ 10:26 AM

  Yesterday, I had a busy day, culminating a very busy week.

The Store Opened with the ceremonial yanking of the sheets. The store is of course Holiday Yarns, owned and operated by Gwynivar with help from Eric and Nora, and occasionally myself and a few other generous people. I should mention Twiggi was working there most of Saturday as well. She came up the night before and helped Jen dye and other things.

The yarn wall (bear in mind, this is only Holiday Yarns brand - there is much more than this. I have more pictures of the store, but I don't know how many will choke Blogger.

One of the roving sections. Yes, One of Many. There's a place to build a batt too, and the drum carder will be set up this week!

Setting up to dye. Part of Saturday was a Ravelry party where dying yarn was encouraged and at least 8 skeins were dyed, and I think it ended up with more than that done. There were customers who wandered through who hadn't heard of the store before yesterday standing in the periphery and watching as well. But most of the people had heard of Nora and wanted to dye with her.

The Master at work, with Enigma on the left.

Got yarn?  ¶ 5:11 AM

  I am essentially a lazy person. I have always been the one who prefers to avoid exercise I don't like. My favorite exercise of all time is swimming, and if I had the chance I would swim every day. However, thanks to this chemical sensitivity problem I have, I can't breathe around chlorine any more, and that makes swimming daily very difficult. The lakes around here tend to freeze over, and our bathtub isn't big enough to do laps. I did go to Curves for a while, but that is complicated by the fact that other people don't like the smell of sweat and therefore wear perfume to cover it up, and the gym itself liked to decorate with scented candles and if you put them by machines I'm trying to use, I can't breathe. There's always walking, and I do try to help with the walking of the dogs (and really Ought to do more but 7 AM is a bit early and the dogs don't like to wait for my lazy ass to get out of bed), but there's often the scent of laundry in the air (DAMN YOU GAIN!), and soon the flowers will be out. They are indeed gorgeous, and smelly.

So my solution has been to get an exercise ball. I sit on it for an office chair. No arms to rest my arms upon - so I don't get pressure induced numbness like ulnar tunnel syndrome or carpal tunnel syndrome. Unfortunately, they are vinyl and smelly for a couple of weeks out of the box which makes me headachey and I tend to pop them every six months or so. The first time I popped one it just scared me. But over the weekend, I landed just exactly wrong on my tailbone and the bugger still hurts. I know it'll fade and there's no lasting damage and I didn't break anything. I just wanted to whinge. And I miss having a chair I can wiggle on at the moment, because the new ball has to go in time out so it stops being smelly. (In addition to the extreme pain getting up from the seated position from the ball). The more I move, the less it hurts, so there's a fine line between hobbling and actual fluid movement. I Will get better. It's just right now I have more than my usual pain in the ass.  ¶ 1:10 PM

  This whole teabagging thing bothers me on many levels. First there's the entire futility of the thing - our country's circumstances are NOT going to change because someone mailed a Congress critter a bag of loose leaf.

Then there's my concern about the root of the quest - are they truly trying incite a revolution by protesting an unfair tax as they did during the days before the Revolution? There is no unfair tax on Tea at the moment. I'm pretty sure all the tea flowing into DC at the moment has had all taxes paid. Because one of the rules of Effective protest (to Me) involves not being arrested for theft.

Or are they going for the modern reference - which the main blogs dance around and the mainstream media dare not discuss. Teabagging as a gaming term is much more incendiary and offensive. Calling Obama a "pantywaist" is nothing on stuffing nutsacks. It's only a hair kinder than calling him a "damn n-----" and certainly many of the uptight conservatives I know understood what that meant they would be embarrassed to mail anyone a teabag.

I almost want to mail the instigators of this offensive stunt some coffee. So they can wake up and smell some. Offending people does NOT sway them to your side. It only puts them off further. It closes doors to discussion. And the only way for conservatives, let alone the Republican Party, to get anything done until the next election is by having conversations and learning to bend and work with others.

If you truly don't like where your tax dollars are going, there is the excellent example given in Civil Disobedience by Henry David Thoreau. Sure, he went to jail for not paying his taxes. You probably will too. Eventually. Of course, this seems to be a Democratic phenomenon (just see all references to failed cabinet posts by Obama), so perhaps Republicans won't let themselves consider it as a result.  ¶ 4:14 PM

  This is the spun Mint Mojito. Unfortunately, it ends up being a lot more uniform than the yarn did. The bottom skein is the rest of the three-ply, with some two ply and navajo to finish it off, and only 80 yards. The top is a uniform 3-ply of 180 yards. It'll go nicely with the Bingo Rose handspun, and I hope to make a shrug out of it for myself- since Her What Lives Next Door got my other shrug - and that's fine with me because I didn't like that shrug very much.

  ¶ 8:05 PM